| Growing Pains of a Novice Sonia Whitefield
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When I was 17yrs old, I thought I knew the
torment and confusion of life’s journey into the unknown! Parents not understanding,
body not fitting right, long vigils in front of a candle listening to Leonard Cohen and
yearning for something more. Little did I know what approaching mid-life would bring
in all its wounderous glory, yes I meant to spell it like that! My career up until now has been mostly arts- based. Ambitious I was. Getting the right exhibition, in the right gallery, impressive CV, networking at the Arts Council, doing very well thank you?! But life has a way of tripping us up and offering in its bluntness all sorts of scenarios as learning steps or should I say STOPS! You thought you knew confusion? Here have a load of this! Lonely moments in front of the telly? You ain’t seen nothing yet! Think depression belongs to other people? Down. Down you go! During the past year I have experienced dark times, when all my belief systems have been thrown up to the light of day and defence structures have been decimated through circumstances beyond my control. Instead of running away from my fears I painfully ran with them. Afraid that I’d lost myself, only to realise that I was actually finding Myself again. That's when I discovered Reiki. I did not know much about it but, from what I had read, deemed it worthy of a session. I was feeling ‘well out of synch ‘ and knew I needed balancing in some way or another. Reiki is a spiritual form of healing that works on the energy points of the body to release blocked energies, cleansing the body of toxins and working to create a state of balance. The Reiki practitioner channels the ‘universal life force’ through their hands to the recipient, it activates the body’s natural healing intelligence. After that first session I felt such a sense of letting go. I began not to try to get the answers but to let them come to me. Losing the ego and gaining insight and compassion. Feeling free! It was amazing. It opened my world to Healing. Eight months later, I have just taken my first attunement in Reiki. It is a path I have known for a long time, it is not unfamiliar to me. I know deep its journey. Obstacles are being sent to test me, so the growing pains never really stop! Old familiar ways ways die hard and the lure of the Art World keeps raising its egotistical head in various guises. I am learning to say NO and believe in it, to chase those saboteurs, (with the help of friends at times!!) and not feel guilty for refusing what other people would see as great career moves. I am reminded of some wise words from a book I once read; “A healed person is automatically a healer. And his or her strength is the greater for having been through dark times and having brought a conscious solution as a gift to the world”. Those growing pains were my gift. I would not be practising Reiki to-day if they hadn’t sang their whiny tune at full blast in my eardrum! They made me stand still enough to listen, to grow and see new beginnings and I thank the greater powers for that. Everyone has their own journey in life. Through becoming more conscious, I have recognised my talent as a healer and am grateful. May you come to recognise yours, for we each have something special to give in this world that no-one else possesses. Find it and celebrate: Make life your party!!
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