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yesterday i find the perfect words today in the dark dusty hall a mailbox was singing at me songs of emptiness and paperless nothings inhaling breathing it in and swallowing it up to my hips memory floods me notwithstanding my swollen emotion forgiving darkness kneels over me the reigning mist of you swims over me memory floods a long forgotten warmth to the village of your affection we stand slow and together at the window of summer’s brightness we are the matrons of serenity and tyrants of envy close my eyes and remember gazing wicked he softly sounded my name with a kiss free from fear and the vices of clouds then memory wakes as my clock strikes a prayer of evenings end gleaming truths cross me with no compassion sworn and merciless time moves forward granting me leave of wonder and escape approaching and stealing my minutes back to my prison I creep cold and had I am left with embers of you burning fierce like my vicious splendid devotion |
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slowly and thickly through tomb-still heart i roam my eyes are dark where light once moved and flickered love roll's off my tongue to kiss him there where he sleeps alone bitter blows a whistling wind long and long before the dear one dreaming him up inside my head those little games we play slowly and thickly through unveiling half closed thoughts on the tip of my tongue I love you, and all the pretty words we say |
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i didn't dream him up last night i tossed instead already the day is one of those lost inside my head this desire is my burning truth will he think of me as the smoke penetrates my skin suck in deep and constantly |
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if she could she would hire him to spread hate over her everyday if she could she would then thud him for wanting and watching in sin and play her wielded shield eludes his vein she remembers seeing it before |
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maybe I need you I will find what I want this is my desire and indulgence the way is in through my eyes and the way will finish me the pleasures of my eyes
to a world of presumption this mother’s child passes softly folds thick flesh to seize the life below and before memory can gasp for breath before my lids flutter I will find what I want here beneath me |
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he pulled a flower from my muddy hair and the pale thin skin from my feet the most subtle shade of red my blood loosens there as he begins to take his seat right there in me cradle me I am your forever I am your forever in his delicate hands full of empty veins delicate are those beautiful hands he plunges in and finds the lovely stare of a blue tulip pupil frozen in an instant i remember with my skin his soft mouth falling into mine cold now in memory’s place I will remember with my skin I am his forever I am his forever |
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I collapse into giggles he didn’t think it funny his spoken word reminds me of his eyes wandering through my soul like lost beads of water sliding down the tub he poured his aching heart into my hands kinda slow like syrup over pancakes I became silent still staring straight he told me of wonder and things long Sunday’s and graveyards we passed animals licking themselves like dogs would lick themselves afterwards cows shifting their thick necks waiting for things to happen and something always does happen then words thickened and with tongues and skin as a parting gesture I wanted to tell him that I loved him but I couldn’t I didn’t and I won’t |
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i spider down fast in spirals way i drown below my own thoughts heavy disgust in fear's place my living hand pushing hard metal in place my selfish figure leans in pulling trigger's peace, release from hurting things my shy ramblings are put to rest |
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your fingers are like little snakes waiting for the bite wanting to keep you warm and at bay scars and stitches across my being I feel the bite of your brass tongue my body grows weak and thin I am racked by disease I emerge thin from recognition even a kind touch causes pain the beginning the starting of the end |
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you have moved me in such fantastic times as these you have corrupted my sight yet head strong you sit in my narrow bed with a sheet so suitable for just the two your monstrous love invades me he and I we lay still in delight and slumber sets in morning comes and the simple sun witnesses the sublimeness of us two you and I the company of you |
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he sounds boozed again talking any faster would have killed him looking head-on at the window he yells out that his memory may haunt us all he dives forth fast and through and plunges to his death below |
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the smooth void swims loveless above and beneath a thousand black and blues his shots burn my skin like hard, cold rain and heavy language coming from wicked tongues just blood flowing like my useless hair delicate blows like the ship’s sail lost at sea she is |
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I leave you confused take this world of kind row upon row night after night take this world of kind explicit and unbelievable tread through my shallow motions and begin a ceaseless swirl here under me your eyes become pockets of possibilities of lonely nights and days I move you in a ceaseless swirl |
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violence in orange brilliant walls of colour there, there now huddled in a black corner they wait anticipate smoke makes it’s way over the wet brick footsteps ring true they greet him with their stand and scorn he knows he’s got but one second to live |
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still yet fast was her sweet mist dark and dark without vision I part hair and skin through ugly blood I bare gorgeous screams as mother watches near here from the shadows comes a picture of a woman that I call myself |
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at an early age and it was here so very early yet still she remembers the putrid smell of his old sexuality as he firmly held himself in his hand motioning her to fondle biting his ill tongue in sick delight and her every sensation trust thoughts run through her head when glances become confusion his reassurance voiced in a sick whisper to continue she stood there on the kitchen chair now, sleep is laced with nightmares woken with visions and smells of my mother’s father |
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a pretty petal i wish to be dancing on consequences knee while a knot of muscle grows here in place of better things my curtain drops liquid to the ground and spills a cold drop for thee |
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drawing in the simple pleasure of a deep breath drawing in and bound tight by the weave of muscle pushing air across my chalk white room reaching the inside getting there and pushing in uninvited outside the rain sings me a song pure and fleeting waiting wet to devour my judgement worn by the gavels of lust triggered the finger of pious likes I restore respiration drawing in again I collect my thoughts in a jar of glass the day has come to pass at last nearly ending eyes draw to a close the thoughts provoked by my minds workings forever held inside drawing breath again be mine soon so sad i miss you my sweetness breaking my heart with distance and jumps in time like a child without a sweet there is light after dark always I am unborn I am as never before without breath |
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with these words and a succession of thoughts I mark the path with strange air and the mystery of breath through midnight, the silent time I row through echoes of myself, lost and persistent my flesh grows cold and hungry from the accent of winter’s tongue when comes his spring to wade my weary ways long forgotten I beckon his water to sprinkle and whirl me sung far and hailing through this turbulent time his headstrong soul knits a fabric of flaws his cloud-like stand speaks languages to the chambers of my heart his brazen statue moves in and motions whispers slowly lift my shocking lips to greet the silence of his open mouth stolen, all of it All of the above poems are © copyright Leesa Beales 1999/2000. They may not be copied or reproduced in part or in total without prior permission of the author. Visit Leesa's web site ~See & Say~ Please leave your name and any comments in our Guestbook:
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